I Don't Speak Latin
Sunday, April 24, 2005
I'm feeling so lost. I have no idea what's going on in any part of my life.
I still don't have a summer job, and it's now the 24th of April. I don't know what city I'll be living in this summer. I feel pressured by my mum to go back to Toronto. But that's the only thing keeping me in Toronto. London has my friends.
I don't know if I will be doing that summer camp thing, which would pay well... but would it actually work? And if I do that, who's gonna hire me for 2 months? I would have to go back to Japan Camera for 2 months. I highly doubt Bill (my boss) will give me full-time... and he'll give me shit shifts. Like 1-4pm. And weekends. Or three days off in a row. Except not good days when I could do anything like go to my cottage with my family. It would be like Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. And then I would have to work ridiculous hours on the weekends for little pay. I'm getting minimum wage even though I've been working there for two years. I need to ask for a significant raise.
And if I do the gamble on the camp and it doesn't work... I'm going to be stuck at Japan Camera for 4 months instead of two. And I don't want to stay in London for 4 months. I want to do things this summer with my friends.
Well, my room in London is free once again. Megan isn't staying anymore. So that leaves my options open.
In short, I need a job. My one option in London right now is a garden centre that Danielle and Juliana have referred me to. It's a good location, and it would be great to work at least partly outside.
I realize now that I probably should have taken the treeplanting job when they offered it to me. (A&M Reforestation put me on their team last month... and I turned them down. It would have been perfect - a two month engagement that would have paid 6-8 thousand)
Next on the list.
Am I a history major? I don't know. I should be, unless something went drastically wrong on the exam. I don't want to be a history major. I wouldn't mind pop music studies as my major. But the medieval shit just doesn't cut it for me. If I don't make performance next year... what am I going to do? I have no backups. I have no desire to teach, and I don't think I would be a very good teacher. I would not be a very good t+c student... and that leaves performance and history. I'm worried. I didn't get a recommendation. I don't know if getting a recommendation necessarily means anything... but quite a few people got them. What do I do if I don't get it???
Also,
I'm thinking of giving up on my funny guy. If I don't stay in London, I won't see him for 4 months. 4 months is a long time. I could have gone out with him and some other people tonight. Unfortunately, my lack of funds prohibited this. He also appears to not understand when I ask him out, that it's me asking him out. Boys, why are you so stupid about stuff like this? Please pay attention!
I'm losing sleep over the lack of job. THERE ARE NO JOBS IN TORONTO. I need sleep.
*going insane*
I still don't have a summer job, and it's now the 24th of April. I don't know what city I'll be living in this summer. I feel pressured by my mum to go back to Toronto. But that's the only thing keeping me in Toronto. London has my friends.
I don't know if I will be doing that summer camp thing, which would pay well... but would it actually work? And if I do that, who's gonna hire me for 2 months? I would have to go back to Japan Camera for 2 months. I highly doubt Bill (my boss) will give me full-time... and he'll give me shit shifts. Like 1-4pm. And weekends. Or three days off in a row. Except not good days when I could do anything like go to my cottage with my family. It would be like Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. And then I would have to work ridiculous hours on the weekends for little pay. I'm getting minimum wage even though I've been working there for two years. I need to ask for a significant raise.
And if I do the gamble on the camp and it doesn't work... I'm going to be stuck at Japan Camera for 4 months instead of two. And I don't want to stay in London for 4 months. I want to do things this summer with my friends.
Well, my room in London is free once again. Megan isn't staying anymore. So that leaves my options open.
In short, I need a job. My one option in London right now is a garden centre that Danielle and Juliana have referred me to. It's a good location, and it would be great to work at least partly outside.
I realize now that I probably should have taken the treeplanting job when they offered it to me. (A&M Reforestation put me on their team last month... and I turned them down. It would have been perfect - a two month engagement that would have paid 6-8 thousand)
Next on the list.
Am I a history major? I don't know. I should be, unless something went drastically wrong on the exam. I don't want to be a history major. I wouldn't mind pop music studies as my major. But the medieval shit just doesn't cut it for me. If I don't make performance next year... what am I going to do? I have no backups. I have no desire to teach, and I don't think I would be a very good teacher. I would not be a very good t+c student... and that leaves performance and history. I'm worried. I didn't get a recommendation. I don't know if getting a recommendation necessarily means anything... but quite a few people got them. What do I do if I don't get it???
Also,
I'm thinking of giving up on my funny guy. If I don't stay in London, I won't see him for 4 months. 4 months is a long time. I could have gone out with him and some other people tonight. Unfortunately, my lack of funds prohibited this. He also appears to not understand when I ask him out, that it's me asking him out. Boys, why are you so stupid about stuff like this? Please pay attention!
I'm losing sleep over the lack of job. THERE ARE NO JOBS IN TORONTO. I need sleep.
*going insane*